


Nova

by TheHatterTheory



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst, Canon Compliant, Complete, Drabble, F/M, I REGRET NOTHING, POV Male Character, Romance, attempted suicide, borderline poetic descriptions of really screwy situations because i like trying to sound smart, character torture, not a songfic, verbage, vnv nation, waaangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-15
Updated: 2012-07-24
Packaged: 2017-11-10 17:28:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 100
Words: 15,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/468840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHatterTheory/pseuds/TheHatterTheory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All stars burn, and once he had burned more brilliantly than any other. Now he's stranded in a world that has forgotten him, afraid to face his former glory while desperately clinging to the shadow it casts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. There's No Reprieve

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**One: There's No Reprieve**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Inu Yasha and Co, nor do I own anything by VNV Nation

A/N: Exercises in prolixity while staying between 100 and 300 words. Expect verbosity.

_____________________________

If such a weight could be carried, he was one of the few with the strength. Years and centuries passed, days burning out into nights in an endless succession. He watched as stars faded and burst into nothingness. If every moment was a lifetime, he could be considered ageless, and yet he was not. To those poor fools around him he was immortal, and yet he marked the small changes, knew that he was trapped within them. Savored them.

Blood that had once been glory was now burdensome mockery, pulsing through him and resisting every attempt to loose it from his veins. His own cells were like stars, burning hotly, brightly. An illusion of forever, and yet...

**Word Count: 117**


	2. Illusion

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Two: Illusion**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to Inu Yasha and Co or VNV Nations Lyrics

______________________

The face in the mirror had shifted, changed. New persona to adapt to new lives, new times. Masks, each one created to age, to die. Pretty lies wrapped in magic that was a mere whisper in the world. Petty, foolish hope was buried in each skin, each human facade a yearned for dream. More and more he left his old face behind, clung to the farce so fervently he destroyed it in his needy, grasping hands.

Realization always dawned with the same bitter, mocking disbelief, the same black, spiraling hopelessness.

When had he come to envy humans their mayfly mortality?

**Word Count: 100**


	3. In Defiance

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Three: In Defiance**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Inu Yasha and Co, nor anything by VNV Nation

___________________

_Thump, bump thump. Thump,bump thump._

No matter how normal he looked, he could not escape the sounds of a thousand beating hearts as he moved through the city. Each person's flare of life brushed against him, each heart a staccato rhythm in his ears. Everything screamed life, change, transition. Yet even as he moved among them, he did not change, did not grow. He would not find another significant change for years, perhaps decades.

Makeup, dye, injections, surgery. A thousand different things to hide what they were. Humans stubbornly resisted and defied their mortality with a single minded intensity he would have admired. They did every conceivable thing, invented new possibilities, braved danger and failure, to hide the slow decomposition of their bodies, to fend off the signs of aging.

Humans despised death.

He yearned for it.

**Word Count: 137**


	4. I Know I Can't Return

** Nova **

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Four: I Know I Can't Return**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or VNV Nation.

 ___________

_Once upon a time._

He hated that phrase more than any other phrase in the world. Once upon a time. As if you could merely hop on and off of time's back at will. A despicable phrase, and yet he seemed to encounter it everywhere.

A mother's calm voice reciting it to her child. A father's soothing rumble. A child's excited, clumsy attempt.

 _Her_ voice whispering it to her all too human children.

Once upon a time.

As if you could climb onto time's back and force it to carry you forward into the future.

Or backwards into the past.

**Word Count: 100**


	5. Virulent Capacities

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Five: Virulent Capacities**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha, which is good because I love the fandom. I don't own the rights to anything by VNV, which is also good, because being inspired by your own music seems narcissistic.

_______

Gold eyes stared up at him with bitter resentment, with rage. As ever he was impassive, cold. A statue given life to move through the world. Untouched and untouchable. Unreachable. He had long since grown used to the anger, the resentment.

A jagged, caustic pill; too big too swallow, too prominent to ignore.

Circumstances dictated who and what he was. That much had become obvious to him in the centuries of his life. Even when he had felt free, he had never been. Duty had been the bars of his cage, but it had been a cage he had known, one he had acknowledged and thrived in. One he could have left, had he wanted to. Now, however...

Twisted, broken, bubbled flesh was his duty. A broken thing, mutilated by the world. Not by magic, not even by himself. By humans. Who would have thought their capabilities for destruction would outstrip even youkai?

He banished thoughts of the past as he stared down at the distorted, ravaged mess that had once been a hanyou. A new duty, one that caged him in, bound him tightly to life.

Once venerable, proud caretaker of his lands.

Now weary caretaker of his brother.

**Word Count: 200**


	6. The Lands Behind Laid Waste

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Six: The Lands Behind Laid Waste**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Inu Yasha. I don't own any VNV Nation lyrics. I am merely borrowing for inspiration.

 ________________________

High above the city, at the top of a now defunct, merely 'ornamental' tower, the wind blew hard against him, reminding him of times when he had soared over the world. He stared down at the blinking, neon lights of a city that could never sleep, refused to in fact. Manic energy bustled below him frantically. A hundred car horns, a million scuffling shoes. Ignorant and unseeing, blessedly mortal.

Alienation, revulsion, resentment, those were the seeds of his hatred for the world below him. It's very existence was an abomination, a perversion of what had once been. Forests, lakes, _beauty_ , had been annihilated. Smog and concrete and steel had replaced splendor.

But it was the easiest place to blend in. In the frenetic pace, those few such as himself were lost, hidden. Unnoticed.

A new life would start soon, a new face. The one he wore had long since begun to wrinkle and sag. There was only so far he could press his luck, and people remarked on his good health and advanced age too often to ignore any longer.

He did not want to don the mask of a young man yet again, not when he felt so old.

**Word Count: 200**


	7. Ghost

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Seven: Ghost**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to anything by VNV or having to do with Inu Yasha

_____________________

Death. Funeral. Flowers. A body destroyed beyond recognition to stand in for his own. A process he had repeated several times. Each time he played a relative to handle the closing of his own affairs. It was unfortunate that he was expected to go through the motions of being actual family though. Funerals were cyclical by their nature.

Hearing empty platitudes always reminded him of an imp that had shouted them as easily as he breathed. Everything was a compliment to a man that had been a facade, a condolence for a person that had never existed.

Rinse. Repeat. Reincarnate.

**Word Count: 100**


	8. If I Should Give In

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Eight: If I Should Give In**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to anything by Rumiko T. or VNV. Viola.

 ________________________________

Each face was even worse than the last. He stared in the mirror, testing each one out as if it was clothing instead of something he would be living with for decades, watching it wrinkle and wither. But each one was unsatisfactory, each fading into the other seamlessly, effortlessly. All of them looked the same. None of them stood out from the other.

Once, centuries ago, he had been vain. Hiding behind masks had destroyed that. The _need_ to hide behind masks had all but shattered his pride. Vanity had no place in the shell of what he had become.

Word Count: 100


	9. Nemesis

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Nine: Nemesis**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Inu Yasha. I don't own any VNV Nation lyrics. I am merely borrowing for inspiration.

_______________

Reluctantly he withdrew the tendrils of power and magic, momentarily giving up. Hands gripped the marble sink, tightening so that the stone was gouged by his claws. In the corner of his eye he could see his hair, long and white, shimmering in the light.

Against his will, despite his better judgment, he looked up into the mirror and stared at his face. His true face stared back at him for the first time since he could remember.

An angel's solemn face marred by symbols that had long ceased to mean anything. An ageless face.

Ancient, weary eyes stared back.

**Word Count: 100**


	10. Fragments

** Nova **

**By: Hatter Theory**

**Ten: Fragments**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Inu Yasha. I don't own any VNV Nation lyrics. I am merely borrowing for inspiration.

 _______________

He ignored the mirror shards on the floor as he tried to gather his thoughts. Breaking the mirror had been reflex, a response to his own fury. Glass cut into his feet, cutting as them. Skin healed quickly, sealing shards within the flesh, quickly rejected the foreign slivers of substance. All of this went largely unnoticed. Sensation itself had become dull, peripheral. Healing occurred thoughtlessly, automatically.

Restlessness throbbed through his blood. It was not the first time, it would not be the last.

Pulse. Throb.

Pulse. Throb.

Something was calling to him, demanding his attention gently, yet insistently.

The fang.

**Word Count: 100**


	11. Entropy

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Eleven: Entropy**

**Disclaimer:** Do I own the rights ti Inu Yasha? Nope. Do I own the rights to anything by VNV Nation? Nope.

___________

It had not sung to him in centuries. He had long thought it silent, perhaps dead, the youki within it faded into nothing but a whisper of it's former glory.

But this was different, he hoped. Or perhaps time made the other songs feel more like requests to this one's demand.

He stared it down, unsure if she should reach forward and pull it from it's stand. Dust had settled over it. He felt it should be disturbed somehow, that the humming should have displaced the evidence of decades of neglect.

That was when the demand became an urgent command.

**Word Count: 100**


	12. Momentum

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Twelve: Momentum**

**Disclaimer:** Rights to Inu Yasha? No. Rights to VNV Nation? Still no.

_____________________________

The sword was as easily concealed as his own marking were. Ignoring the finer details, he merely cloaked his more unnatural features, washing himself in the skin tones of any other asian male as he rushed out of his home and into the night.

The sword's panic became his own. Rushed, breathless, dizzying panic.

Alive. He was _alive_. Fear had not touched him in centuries. The sensation was unsettling, but the sword gave him no time to contemplate his strange, child like elation.

It pushed, he stumbled forward. It pulled, he allowed himself to be led. It insisted, he listened.

**Word Count: 100**

 

 


	13. Living Through Practicality

**Nova**

**By:The Hatter Theory**

**Thirteen: Living Through Practicality**

**Disclaimer:** Inu Yasha? No. VNV? Still no.

 _______________________

Sorrow clung to the shrine. Terror, panic, despair. All mingled in a myriad of scents he found repugnant and offensive to his sensitive nose.

Tenseiga gave little room for niceties. Ignoring etiquette, he followed the sorrow, the panic. Into the house, up the stairs. A teenaged boy stood outside of a doorway, shoulders jerking as he tried to hold back sobs. Poor boy, he thought. Give in. Feel. You will only have it for a short time.

As if sensing his presence, the boy turned to him, eyes widening at the sight he must have made.

“Who are you?”

**Word Count: 100**


	14. The Thoughts And Tears

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Fourteen: The Thoughts And Tears**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or anything by VNV Nation.

 __________________________

Ignoring the boy, he walked past him into the room, a bathroom. It was a small as his own was big. A woman shuddered, sobbed, soaked to the skin. Her apron, he supposed, had been white once. Now it was sodden, the water soaking it tainted with blood. Pink, diluted. Human.

Tenseiga hummed it's denial..

A body in her arms, a younger female. Naked and pale, like porcelain. Ruptured flesh ran up the length of her forearms, destroying the illusion of perfection, of doll like tranquility. Yet she looked like a masterfully crafted, broken toy in the older woman's arms.

**Word Count: 100**


	15. From My Hands

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Fifteen: From My Hands**

**Disclaimer:** This poor, broke authoress does not own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation.

____________________

The woman refused to let go of her dead child. Strength he had not exhibited in years forced her away, a rude shove until she was back out in the hall. The dead body thumped to the floor, a broken thing. His youki pulsed, the door slammed shut, keeping her screaming, hysterical mother away.

What came next could not be seen by anyone save himself. He unsheathed Tenseiga, felt it's purpose sing through him.

There was little space to swing the blade, but he cut through the imps effortlessly. They vanished, screaming their outrage at the loss of their prey.

**Word Count: 100**


	16. You're Still Here

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Sixteen: You're Still Here**

**Disclaimer:** Rights to Inu Yasha? No. Rights to VNV? Still no.

 _____________________________

The first sign of life was in the wounds closing. The second in her gasping breath, her arching back as her mouth opened in a silent scream. Blue eyes snapped open, searching blindly, confused, lost, half mad from being caught between life and death and forcefully dragged back into the land of the living.

Even now he could hear her heart beating frantically, trying to pump what little blood there was left through her body.

Of all those to save, why would Tenseiga choose a suicide?

“No, **NO!** I want to be with Inu Yasha,” She croaked, tears starting.

**Word Count: 100**


	17. A Blade Through Your Mind

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Seventeen: A Blade Through Your Mind**

**Disclaimer:** Lemme see. Inu Yasha? No. VNV? Nope.

____________

That _name_.

How did she know that name?

Tenseiga slid smoothly back into it's sheath, and his hand circled her arm, yanked her to her feet, or attempted to. Her own body was limp, caving in on itself in her attempt to give in, give up. Her garbled wails echoed off of the walls, clattered painfully in his ears, weaving a dissonant song with her frantic, fluttering heartbeat.

That name fell off her her tongue with effortless ease. A name long since forgotten by most. A name that should have been unknown to her. Sorrow pervaded his senses.

_That name._

**Word Count: 100**

 

 

 **A/N:**  No, he doesn't quite remember her, mostly because it's been five hundred years. He needs a kickstart sort of reminder lol.


	18. Broken Wings

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Eighteen: Broken Wings**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or VNV Nation.

 _________________

Her nudity didn't bother him, nor the sickly pallor of her skin. It was the pink rivulets that dripped down from her hair, coursed over her moon white flesh, that he found perturbing. Down her face, her delicate neck, her breasts and stomach, lacing around her arms and between her legs.

The gore, what little there was, was profoundly unnerving. She appeared a broken goddess, fresh from battle, grieving and bathed in the blood of her own army.

Perhaps it was not an entirely incorrect moment of perplexing whimsy.

She grieved.

Surely she had more than earned the right to.

**Word Count: 100**

 

 


	19. A Light That Can't Be Seen

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Nineteen: A Light That Can't Be Seen**

**Disclaimer:** Inu Yasha? No. VNV? Still no.

____________________

“Miko.”

The word made her look up at him, made her blue eyes widen in dumb shock as her mouth gaped. The tears mixed with the blood. Her was reminded of the Madonnas that had, on strange occasions, wept blood. The similarities were disquieting.

Crouching, he ignored that his own long, fair hair soaked up the bloodied water. Pink tinted what touched the floor, and the closer he came, the more it reddened.

A clawed hand lightly held her chin, tilted her face. One way, then another.

Haggard. Restless. Dull. Weary.

She appeared older now, perhaps by a few years, much the same as he. He knew of her well, of her time traveling. He knew that she had disappeared one day, never to return.

Had she moved through the world as he had, a mere shadow beyond memories?

Memories of her vibrancy flickered in a small corner of his mind, memories of a woman child completely at odds with the female sitting in front of him, gaping.

How she had faded, dulled, he thought in bittersweet wonder. Even her eyes, once so strange and vivid even he had taken note of them, seemed to have lost their distinction.

____________________

**Word Count: 200**


	20. With A Line I'll Mark The Past

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Twenty: With a Line I'll Mark The Past**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to anything Inu Yasha or VNV Nation.

_________

“Sesshoumaru?”

Emptiness. She was as hollow as he was. She remembered, she _knew_.

He nodded, surprised when the tears began anew and she threw herself into his arms.

Relief, pure and undeniably sweet smoked through the room, engulfing the copper tang of her blood and emerging bittersweet. Her cold body clung to him, and despite their history she held tightly, as if he was the only person left in the world.

Her cold was a shock to his senses, physically and emotionally. It was that pervasive chill that roused him, woke him slowly from a centuries long achromic nightmare.

**Word Count: 100**

 

 


	21. As A Symbol Of Beginning

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Twenty One: As a Symbol Of Beginning**

**Disclaimer:** Guess who doesn't own the rights to anything Inu Yasha or VNV related? Correct, I don't.

_______

Oblivious to everything around her, she took note of his sudden shift in appearance as feet stomped up the stairs and voices demanded to see the 'victim'. Knowing what was coming, he grabbed her arms before she could say anything. Startled protests flew as he used a finely pointed claw to made shallow cuts on her arm, and just as swiftly he pulled a towel from the wrack and began scrubbing her. Anything to make the amount of blood that had been spilled disappear.

Someone banged on the door as he scrubbed her face roughly. He did not want her to be taken, to be examined, to disappear.

The bloody water on the floor mopped up, he reached in the tub and pulled the plug on the drain, flinching when he pulled back an arm covered in the tinted water. Shaking it off, he stepped over to the door, pulling his mask into place.

More lies. But these would be simple, and for once, he had no trouble letting them fall from his lips.

“She's fine,” He rumbled, staring down at the two somewhat stricken paramedics.

“We still have to see her.”

He fell into the role more easily than any other role in his life. He went back and sat behind her, wrapped his arms around her, as if he knew her, cared about her.

The lies he told would send him to hell.

Lover's spat. Desperation. Foolishness. The paramedics seemed grateful to go.

She endured well. As if sensing his purpose, she nodded, flushed at their disapproval, and showed them the shallow cuts on her arms.

Then they were gone, and her family was staring at him as if he'd come from some hell they had only just escaped from.

Which could have been the truth.

**Word Count: 300**


	22. Find Comfort In This Broken Hall Of Dreams

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Twenty Two: Find Comfort In This Broken Hall of Dreams**

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own anything regarding the rights to Inu Yasha or VNV Nation.

________

“Sesshoumaru?”

It was a whisper of disbelief, of hope.

“Was that really you?”

The paramedics were gone, he could feel them retreating, further and further away. Making the conscious decision, he let the magic fade. In her eyes she saw a thousand memories reflected, each one making them wider, all the more vivid in the set of her pale face. From dull gray to stormy, clear sapphire, he watched her cycle through her emotions, then go through them again.

Awe, wonder.

Fear?

“Sesshoumaru.”

_Yearning._

Her hand touched his face hesitantly, lightly.

And he was no longer alone.

**Word Count: 100**


	23. Sever The Line To The Guilty Past

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Twenty Three:  Sever The Line To The Guilty Past**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or VNV, I'm just using them for inspiration.

______

His father's question had haunted him, in the centuries since his end. Protection. Something to protect. But protecting meant to hold dear. He had held a mortal dear, once. He had cared for her, watched her grow, watched her take a husband and grow swollen with child. He had watched the children sap her strength, each one bringing her closer to death. Giving life had been an addiction that had, ultimately, killed her.

But this wisp of a thing, she was not the fragile human the child had been. She could not break, because she was already broken.

He let her cling, because she needed. She clung to what he had been, needed what had long since faded into dormancy. He allowed her tears, her snot and blood and human instability to surround him because he needed to remember that person, and her sorrow called it forth.

She was the opposite of everything he remembered. But there was hope there, quiet and afraid, shrinking from the light. The need he felt, the silent desperation that had been slowly eating away at his sanity shone in her eyes, a half mad light tinged with terror.

“How are you here?”

In the past centuries he hadn't spoken words worth the air it took to breathe them, hadn't said anything of meaning. How to start now?

“Tenseiga felt you dying.”

She drooped, sagging against him. He wondered if she had been hoping for a different story, a more personal one. Something from a fairy tale. A story of how he had waited centuries, of how he had been told when and where to find her.

Such stories were the stuff of legends.

But the sword itself was legend, as they were.

“Are they all gone?”

The question worth lying for.

“Yes.”

**Word Count: 300**


	24. Torn And Repaired

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Twenty Four: Torn And Repaired**

**Disclaimer:** I Don't Own Inu Yasha or the rights to anything by Ronan Harris.

 **A/N:** Update 1 of 2

_________

Such a tiny thing, such a small woman. Thin, too thin, and as light as air in his arms when he picked her up. The boy pointed to a door and he walked into the room, ignoring the feel of their stares.

“You're going away, aren't you?” She mumbled as he lay her down on the bed. He had known she would ask, just as he had known the source of her terror.

In her chest he could hear her heart still beating a frantic tattoo, could hear her small gasps for breath.

She was not safe quite yet.

**Word Count: 100**


	25. Damn The Illusion Of Redemption

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Twenty Five: Damn The Illusion Of Redemption**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own inu Yasha or VNV.

 **A/N:** Update 2 of 2

________________

It would take an iron will, something he had. To fail was unthinkable. His magic was stronger than it had been when he had still been called lord of the west, but it was unruly, fighting it's purpose as he tried to focus on his intent.

Intent was magic in a way humans would never understand, and blood was the spell that carried it. He strengthened his resolve, let his greed guide him, demanded nothing less than perfection. The shadow self bloomed within him, embraced the magic and howled with eager glee.

Skin ruptured beneath his claw, splitting apart to reveal burgundy blood. She gasped, and he opened it further. His youkai blood was potent, rich. Magic sung in it, spiced the air with something dark.

“Drink.”

“What?”

“Tenseiga can only bring you back, your heart is about to give out. Drink.”

Showing a trust she never would have even considered in the past, she nodded and allowed him to put his wrist to her throat.

He was damning her with his blood. He was damning them both. He had never thought he could fall any further from grace than he already had.

He had been incorrect.

**Word Count: 200**


	26. And The Hopes That Hold Me Here

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Twenty Six: And The Hopes That Hold Me Here**

**Disclaimer:** Let's see. I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha. Or anything by VNV Nation. There.

___________

Her lips were still cold, and even her mouth wasn't as warm as it should have been. But his blood was hot, hotter than a humans by far, and he imagined he could feel her lips warming. It flowed past her lips, and in her fumbling, still weak state, some dripped down her chin and onto the blue comforter. He didn't see it, but he could hear the seeming echo of each drop landing in the sudden silence. The world stopped and he allowed her to take, giving freely and selfishly.

Creation and destruction. He had saved her simply to damn her, and the outcome was slipping beyond his fingertips. She was emptiness and he had nothing to give but darkness and loneliness. In desperation he clung to the memory of who she had been, perhaps as fervently as she clung to the idea of him. He needed to bring back her light, to be bathed in it. If condemning her was the only way, he was willing to take the chance.

When he knew she had enough, he pulled his wrist away, dropped his eyes from her blue ones to her blood stained, pouting lips.

“This will hurt.”

**Word Count: 200**


	27. Infect All Your Longings

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Twenty Seven: Infect All Your Longings**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or anything by VNV Nation

___________________

Youkai were, by their very definition, outside the wheel of time and life. Even those that were born did not live as humans or animals did. Their blood was antithesis to the living. It is why hanyou were considered such abominations, rarely conceived, and often killed at birth when they were. The very nature of her blood was the opposite of his own, and her body fought to reject what he had forced upon it. Even though it would save her, her body fought the poison.

His will was embedded in his blood.

Her miko blood did her no favors.

**Word Count: 100**


	28. So Far From Shores I Left Behind

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Twenty Eight: So Far From Shores I Left Behind**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or anything by VNV Nation

 ____________________

Frustration welled up behind him, mixed with fear. Her family did not know the truth, and he envied them their ignorance.

But they all shared the sight of the girl on the bed, body arched and muscles tensed as ragged screams were ripped from deep in her chest. Blood mingled, fought for dominance. Waves of opposing energy collided, sparked angrily, brilliantly. Magic burned the air.

And then it was simply over.

“She looks, different,” A quiet voice said. He turned and saw the woman, her mother, looking down at her daughter with sad, resigned eyes.

“It is natural.”

“I'm very grateful.”

He heard the plea for information, for explanation. But he was tired. Tired and hollow.

The consequences came crashing down on him.

“Are you alright?”

No, no he was not alright. But he refused to accept help from one of them. Their race was young foolish and destructive...

And he had just saved one of them. _Again_.

Needing air, but needing to stay close even more, he turned to look up at the woman, saw the genuine concern for him reflected in her eyes. Plain, mud brown eyes. Honest eyes. Despite the difference in color, they were the same eyes the miko had.

“Please leave.”

For a woman that had just watched her daughter die, she was incredibly accommodating.

The open window was a revelation. Air, as fresh as it would ever be in the city, blew into the room, dispelling the remaining traces of magic. The scent of blood remained.

Ignoring common sense, he shifted her on the bed and lay down, eyes falling to her lips and chin where his blood had dried. When he licked gently, removing the traces of his involvement, she was warm again, warm and vivid and alive.

**Word Count: 300**


	29. What Will Become Of Us

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Twenty Nine: What Will Become Of Us**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

_______

She slept deeply, but her dreams were not easy dreams. Whimpers and moans puffed out over his chin, and her hands came up to his chest, fisted his shirt and twisted it as her subconscious marched her through some other place. Like a child she curled into him and sought comfort, and knowing he had caused some part of her discomfort, he allowed her to take what he had to give.

When the sun came up, he saw her change, knew then what her life would become.

There was a relief though, that she would have the day at least.

**Word Count: 100**


	30. For All The Emptiness

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Thirty: For All The Emptiness**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to anything by VNV Nation or Inu Yasha

 _________

Gratitude, both profound and strangely foreign, swept through him when her eyes opened to look at him. They were blue. Beautifully, strangely, wonderfully human blue.

“I hurt everywhere.”

“Youkai blood is a potent magic.”

At least his was. Not all youkai could accomplish what he had. Even most daiyoukai could not. Not that they would have tried. What few of his kind remained would be horrified to know what he had done. Perhaps it is just as well that even though only the strongest had survived, he was still singular among them.

“I feel different. What happened?”

**Word Count: 100**


	31. The Bonds That Hold Me Tighter

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Thirty One: The Bonds That Hold Me Tighter**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or anything by VNV Nation

 ____________

“I have things I must take care of today, I will come back before the sun sets.”

She nodded, eyes wary once more. Either she understood his hesitation or she was afraid he would not come back. Perhaps both.

“Rest,” He commanded.

A moment's swift economy of action and he had retrieved Tenseiga and was laying it beside her on the bed. Her eyes lit up with happy understanding.

It pained him to wonder why she felt she was not reason enough to come back, although he knew he was the one to instill such opinions about himself.

**Word Count:100**


	32. The Chains That Weigh On Me

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Thirty Two: The Chains That Weigh On me**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to anything by VNV Nation or to Inu Yasha

 ____________________

He did not want to go to that room, but he had little choice. Even if he had always wanted to murder his brother, neglect went against pack law, and even in the face of his recent break from the natural order, he could not break faith with the spirits of his clan.

Her scent betrayed his activities.

“You saw her.”

The voice was raspy, angry.

“Tenseiga took me to her.”

“She's dead.”

“She lives.”

“Did you tell her?”

“No.”

“Thank you.”

It was difficult to fathom the gratitude in those two words.   

**Word Count: 100**


	33. Just Your Body

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Thirty Three: Just Your Body**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

_________

Little was said as he brought food and watched his brother feed himself. Unlike other days however, he expended no magic in the name of healing. His powers were still exhausted from saving the woman.

Shaking arms covered in bandages brought chunks of raw meat to his mouth, and a misshapen jaw chewed awkwardly.

Humanity had brought the hanyou low. Or more aptly, his human blood.

Now his human and youkai blood battled for dominance. Weakness and strength. Diseased and healing. Stuck in a state of decay and regeneration.

A hell for anyone, but especially a creature of pride.

**Word Count: 100**


	34. Consequences Bind

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Thirty Four: Consequences Bind**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

______

He had minutes to explain to her what he had done, minutes to inform her that he had removed her from the natural order, damned her to live an existence outside of normal life.

He had no words. So he led her outside, let her watch the sun sink below the horizon.

When he saw her flinch as heightened senses took in amplified sounds and a cacophony of scents, he took her hand and raised it, let her see nails lengthened into claws.

A moment of stunned disbelief.

Blood dripped down his torn face from the impact of her hand.  

An apology sprang to his lips, but he bit it down, forced it back. Irrational anger bolted through him. Despite her transformation, she was alive. In those moments, she had accepted his blood, trusted him, wanted to live.

But he knew the anger was foolish. He might have saved her life, but he had damned her in the process. Perhaps she knew that, perhaps she didn't.

Despite that, she was not grateful.

Melancholy followed the realization that he could find no fault in her anger, even as his ruptured skin began to knit, leaving trails of blood coming from nowhere.  

**Word Count: 200**


	35. Let Me Be The One You Need

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Thirty Five: Let Me Be The One You Need**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to inu Yasha or anything by VNV Nation

_________

Three days, three nights. Unsure if he was merely wasting his time, he knocked lightly, surprised when she answered it.

“I apologize,” He murmured, obviously catching her off guard. She nodded slowly, blue eyes still focused on him intently.

“Why?”

He knew her from another life. She might have changed, but he doubted she had changed that much.

“There are no others as I am.” He let the simple words speak for themselves.

Her defenses shattered.

He had been given a reason to feel alive in her need for someone, he had given her one in return.

**Word Count: 100**


	36. Beyond My Means To Turn My Thoughts Around

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Thirty Six: Beyond My Means To Turn My Thoughts Around**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

___________________________

Silence, heavy and oppressive. He knew the moment the sun fell beneath the horizon, could smell the change of her blood, felt the heady power radiating off of her.

“What do I look like?” She murmurred quietly, eyes watching the stars beginning to appear.

Her question startled him. Had she not looked in a mirror?

“Sad,” He replied just as quietly.

“Am I ugly?”

Female vanity, he mused dryly, would never make sense in the least.

“No.” She was, oddly, quite beautiful. Though her coloring had changed, though she had changed, completely, utterly, she had not lost the hint of softness that had always been present in her features. She had not stopped being herself. He found himself profoundly grateful for those small hints of her human self.

“I don't have the puppy ears.”

“You have white hair,” He murmured. “I suppose you know that. And you bear markings similar to my own.”

“The stripes. I have them on my arms.”

“And face.”

“The moon?”

“No.”

He would not tell her that the moon was a mark of his house.

“Fangs feel strange.”

“I suppose they do.”

**Word Count: 200**


	37. In Every Word

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Thirty Seven: In Every Word**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

_______

“I'm scared to see myself,” She sighed. “I've been a stranger to myself ever since I came back. But I knew my face.”

He took her hand, led her inside as if it was his own home. Her family seemed to be away, for one reason or another, and the house was quiet. He took her to the bathroom where he had saved her. Her eyes were closed, afraid to look in the mirror.

“You are not so different,” He murmured.

Her vivid blue eyes opened, turbulent with emotion. Her hand reached out to touch the stranger in the mirror, reminding him of nights before, when he had looked at his true face and seen a stranger there.

He let his own mask slip, watched her eyes widen as his true self was revealed.

The stranger no longer looked tired, weary.

They were pale gods, out of place and time in the modern bathroom, spirits that stared at one another in the mirror, infinite reflections of one another.

“I'm not. I look-” She stopped, brow furrowing as she searched for a word.

His hand came up to cup her cheek, claws resting lightly on her skin.

“Beautiful.”

**Word Count: 200**


	38. Embrace The Skies

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Thirty Eight: Embrace The Skies**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or anything by VNV Nation

______

“What is the world like, like this?” She asked.

He wove the magic around them, hid their true selves. She looked as she always had, and he had his own mask firmly in place. She started, seeing him change so, and he knew she could feel the pressure of the magic hiding her.

“Soon, I will show you how to hide yourself.”

“But?”

“Now I will show you your world.”

Her curiosity became his own, her fresh eyes and ears reminding him that once, the world had been fascinating.

Her hand was warm in his own.

**Word Count: 100**


	39. The Waters Rise And Then Subside

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Thirty Nine: The Waters Rise And Then Subside**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or anything by VNV Nation

_______

Melancholy was a mantle that settled on her features, strangely captivating on her current face. Now more than ever she looked like a spirit from his past.

“What will happen to me?”

A hundred things could happen. But only one seemed relevant.

“You will live.”

“I don't know how.”

“Breathing is often a simple first step.”

“Like this,” She sighed.

“Give it time.”

“That's all I have, now,” She murmured sadly.

“You are no longer alone,” He reminded her gently.

The feel of her relief was staggering, burning, clinging, suffocating.

Binding. Freeing.  

________

**Word Count: 100**


	40. Through My Eyes Stare Into Me

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Forty: Through My Eyes Stare Into Me**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

_____________

He stayed with her as the change came over her, could see her body tense and fight it, as if she clung to the youkai blood, wanted to stay a hanyou.

“Now I'm just a human again.”

She was.

“You hate humans.”

He did.

“You're going to leave now, aren't you.”

He should.

“Please don't go.”

He wouldn't.

“I'm scared I'm dead, and this is hell.”

She wouldn't be the only one.

“How do I do this?”

He had no clue.

“I need you.”

He needed her.

“Please.”

Anything she asked for.  

___________

**Word Count: 100**


	41. Hollow Answers

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Forty One: Hollow Answers**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

___________

“Her scent's changed.”

How to speak of the unspeakable? Even hinting at what he had done would reveal a truth he wanted to keep hidden. Not the girl, the hanyou knew the girl, knew she lived. But his own desperate actions that had kept her alive, why he had done them. The hanyou would question, would come too close to the truth, if not understanding perfectly.

He could not know, could not be allowed to guess the truth.

He walked away, ignoring the question.

“Sesshoumaru, what happened? What did you do, you bastard?”

Everything. He had done _everything_.

__________

**Word Count: 100**


	42. How Many Years

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Forty Two: How Many Years**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or anything by VNV Nation

______________

“This place is suffocating.”

It wasn't hard to understand. He was surprised she hadn't mentally broken from over stimulation. Perhaps her saving grace was that in the day, when humans were most active, she was free of the city's constant dissonance.

“I want to go somewhere.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere but here.”

He had created her, destroyed her, shaped and shattered her beyond all recognition. She was his responsibility. His reasoning was sound, hid the truth even as he used magic ignored for centuries to carry them somewhere far away from the city.

He needed out as well.  

__________

**Word Count: 100**


	43. Since You Found Yourself

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Forty Three: Since Your Found Yourself**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

___________________________

She danced and spun and whirled like a child, bounding into the ocean with all the blithe joy of an innocent, reveling in her newly gained abilities.

“The water feels so different,” She exhalted.

How long had it been since she had felt true joy, that such a small thing was so enrapturing?

“Every drop is a world,” She sighed happily, uncaring that her clothing clung to her like a second skin.

Lust tightened his muscles, made him step back. Unexpected, unwanted, undeniable.

Her blue eyes widened in comprehension.

She stepped forward. He stayed still.

Warmth and water.

______________

**Word Count: 100**


	44. No Sacred Place

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Forty Four: No Sacred Place**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

___________

It was not love. It was desperation and need, loneliness and fear, fire and lust, but it was not love.

It did not hinder it's sweetness, did not stop it's all consuming mindlessness as her lips fumbled against his own. Thighs became steel around his waist and hands were everywhere on his skin, learning, memorizing.

It would destroy the both of them, but it would be a death of sensation in a static world. No more trudging apathy, feet blistering with each plodding step. It would be sharp and painful, dazzling, so vivid it would cut them to the bone. She was bittersweet addiction, she was life and death and warmth and despair. The ocean was their bed, pushing and pulling, rocking them gently, and she was the center of the world. Time stilled and stars burned in his blood, bursting as he was surrounded by her, engulfed in her need and his need to be needed. Reflected in her eyes was the glorious being he had been, her need for that past, and in those moments he was that person.

His last coherent thought before shattering in her embrace was to wonder what she had seen in his eyes.

________

**Word Count: 200**


	45. Nothing To Say

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Forty Five: Nothing To Say**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

________________

It was not difficult to burn the scent of her from his skin, was not hard to change clothing and bathe and carry on as if it had never happened.

It was difficult to face the mangled face of his brother. Those curious eyes that wanted so badly to know, but at the same time feared knowing. He was helpless and weak and could do nothing, would do nothing. Living on his brother's sufferance was one thing, but he knew if she found out, his half brother would die of shame.

Monster that he was, he could find no regret.

____

**Word count: 100**


	46. The Feeling Sometimes Wishing

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Forty Six: The Feeling Sometimes Wishing**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own rights to Inu Yasha or anything by VNV Nation

________________

Escape to the sea was becoming routine. He wondered if she grew bored with it, if she was forcing her joy as she swam.

But she laughed, and he memorized the sound, hid it away somewhere deep to savor when alone.

Someday things would change, perhaps soon. She would realize that he was not what he had once been. Her illusions would shatter, and she would hate him for it, of that he had little doubt. Sooner or later she would feel the march of the years as he had, and hate him for what he had done to her.

_________________

**Word Count: 100**


	47. You The Sinner

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Forty Seven: You The Sinner**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Important Notice: Within the last few days this fic has changed from a T to M rating.**

 _________________________

“You're still seeing her.”

He was, and nodded quietly in admission.

“How is she?”

“She grieves.”

“Is she better?”

He wondered silently. Was she better? Such a short time, not much had changed. But there had been small moments, little things that had reminded him of the girl he had known centuries before. Small consolations. Simple lessons of magic inevitably led to touching, to seeking. Every morning at dawn he watched her become human and longed to touch that humanity, but she withdrew then, and he left her to her human life for his own duties.

________________________

Word Count: 100


	48. Our Thoughts Defined The Passing Days

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Forty Eight: Our Thoughts Defined The Passing Days**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or anything by VNV Nation

 ________________

“Tell me a secret,” She sighed, minutes before sunrise.

“I want to touch you,” He murmured into her belly.

“You are, and that's not a secret.”

“When you are human.”

Deafening silence. That same, very real withdrawal even though she didn't move. The air chilled, and he knew he had lost her again.

“No.”

He let her pull away, watched her change even as she was pulling the sheet around her naked form until the human woman was there, back to him.

He knew what she wanted, could do little but comply.

So he left.

___________

**Word Count:100**


	49. No Turning Back

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Forty Nine: No Turning Back**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha**

 ____________________________

Seeking solace in the warmth of the sun, he watched it rising from the horizon, wished, in a moment of whimsy, that he could go to the place where the sky met the earth. A foolish wish, one that caught him off guard.

Shadows changed, shifting as the sun crept ever higher. He felt them rising around him, chaining him. His own past was running to him, weighing him down, tightening around his neck and thickening the air until he could no longer breathe.

Living an empty life had been simple.

Things were quickly spiraling beyond control, leaving simplicity behind.

__________________

**Word Count: 100**


	50. Face The Fact

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Fifty: Face The Fact**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or anything by VNV Nation

 __________________________

“How is she?”

The same question, every day. When had it become something other than tiresome? He hated it now, wanted to hurt the hanyou for asking, wanted to maim him even further. Irrational, hot anger surged through him. Through the moment, he continued using his youki to try and repair some of the damage done.

“She lives.”

“You always say that.”

“What do you wish to know?”

“Has she asked about me?”

Control of the situation was slipping from his fingers, one grain at a time. Soon there would be none.

None at all.

__________________________

**Word Count: 100**


	51. We Bide Our Time

**Nova**

**by: The Hatter Theory**

**Fifty One: We Bide Our Time**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**A/N: Update 1 of 5**

 ____________________________

He wondered that she did not ask about the hanyou. Never was the name spoken, the past went unmentioned. Perhaps she wished to be free of it, as he did. The night she died he had brought her back. Selfishly, he prayed she considered it a rebirth. This new life began with him. He had little doubt it would end otherwise.

Sooner or later the secret would escape.

They were all selfish, after all.

Her for wanting to escape so desperately.

His brother daily demanded more, healed faster.

And most of all, him for wanting to keep her to himself.

_________________

**Word Count: 100**


	52. In This Solitude Of Hearts

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Fifty Two: In This Solitude Of Hearts**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 2 of 5**

 _______________________________

“My family treats me differently.”

An unconsidered side effect, one he regretted.

“I can't stay here.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to invite her to his home, but good sense prevailed. Some things could not happen, not matter how convoluted life had become.

“I will arrange for something.”

She seemed ready to protest, but he silenced her objections.

Perversion. He was her creator and her lover, but he had broken her and there was no love. Merely need.

He told himself and her it was duty, but his kindnesses were merely a mask for his own selfishness.

__________________________________

**Word Count: 100**


	53. The Solitude We Hide

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Fifty Three: The Solitude We Hide**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 3 of 5**

 __________________________

“This is nice.”

“It's yours.”

Simple acceptance, nothing else. She looked so lost as she walked through the empty rooms, light footsteps echoing in the vast silence.

“I hate being alone.”

He didn't know if it was a statement or an invitation. Although it didn't matter, he supposed. Some things could not be changed, and some things were better unsaid, unacknowledged.

It did not stop the surge of resentment at being so hindered from even making a guess, instead forcing him to let the statement (or perhaps, invitation) to hang in the air, an awkward fumbling of words left unanswered.  

_________________

**Word Count: 100**


	54. Chapter 54

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Fifty Four: Harbor That Which Deeply Seethes**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 4 of 5**

 ____________________

“Am I your secret?”

It was an unexpected question, one that blindsided him and made him shake his head mutely, dumbly.

So many secrets, his life was filled with them. Darkness hovered, shadows of realities he pushed away, kept at bay by using her as a shield, protection from their unbearable weight. Hope and possibility existed only when he was within her arms.

“But you do have them.”

It was not a question.

“Not yet,” He rumbled quietly. She seemed to accept it.

“Soon.”

Claws gripped his heart gently, but he was only too aware they could tighten, and would.  

__________________

**Word Count: 100**


	55. The Doubt In My Beliefs

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Fifty Five: The Doubt In My Beliefs**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 5 of 5**

___________________________

Something restless moved within her, moved within him. Even their touches grew more distracted, more absentmindedly repetitive. When he looked down into her eyes, he knew she was not fully there. She was seeing somewhere beyond him, perhaps seeing someone.

He had thought he would accept this moment, had prepared himself for it. Yet worry persisted, panic gnawed, made him want to pull her back into their world and make her forget whatever time, whatever place or person she was thinking of.

A brush of lips against her temple.

“I want to go out.”

An unexpected, dizzying rush of relief.

______________________

**Word Count: 100**

 


	56. Turn The Safety Off

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Fifty Six: Turn The Safety Off**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Authors Note: Update 1 of 5**

 ________________________

“I want to go somewhere.”

“Where?”

“Dinner.”

There was something strange about her asking him to go out on public for dinner. Until now she had always avoided going out if she could, unless it was to visit the sea. Whatever had changed, he realized that she was nervous and excited, the flavors of her scent discordant. Discordant, but not unpleasant.

Unwilling to deny her, he nodded, even more shocked (and pleased) by her obvious, instantaneous gratification.

“Thank you,” She sighed, nosing his chin gently before sliding out of the bed and walking over to her closet, all lithe grace.

______________________

**Word Count 100**


	57. The Warning Sirens Sound

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Fifty Seven: The Warning Sirens Sound**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 2 of 5**

**__________________________**

“Pretentious,” She chuckled.

He supposed it was. Pretentious, but not loud. Seeking silence, hoping to pull her calmly into a life outside of her apartment, he had chosen very carefully. Hopefully he had chosen well.

Whispers started as soon as they entered, and he heard every word, as he was sure she did. If nothing else, her blush proved it.

Beautiful. Desirable. Envied.

Uncomfortable.

“They're loud,” She muttered, face red.

“Obnoxious,” He agreed.

“Unearthly?” She sputtered, eyes widening at the whispers.

“They see only a shadow of your true beauty.”

A deeper blush, a shy glance.

What was he doing?

_________________________

**Word Count: 100**


	58. Look Into Your Heart

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Fifty Eight: Look Into Your Heart**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 3 of 5**

 ________________________________

A shy smile, an almost child like eagerness to see more. An awed appreciation for the texture of silk as she ran her fingers over a scarf. She perceived the world in a way that he was sure he never had. Touch and taste seemed to bring new discoveries, new conceptions. Despite the odor of the city she drank in the lights and seemed dizzied by her awareness.

Something had altered.

She was happy. Truly happy.

A deep whiff of a street vendor's daisies made her sneeze and rub her nose, eyes almost crossing.

He realized he was happy too.

__________________________

**Word Count: 100**


	59. Being Like You Are

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Fifty Nine: Being Like Your Are**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 4 of 5**

 ________________________________

Small realizations were perhaps the most significant, the most eloquent.

Perhaps she was as lonely as he, during the day. He lay next to her in the bed, gifted her smile with a soft one of his own.

But patterns persisted. She could feel the dawn coming as her blood changed, transposed. Ever closer, each second became another distance, each step closer to humanity was another bridge she tried to burn. He could smell the magic in the air, the predator within him recognizing human weakness.

Carefully controlled, he let the predator slip free, let it hunt, let it ensnare.

 __________________________

**Word Count: 100**


	60. Well This Is Something Else

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Sixty: Well This Is Something Else**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 5 of 5**

 ____________________________

His arms wrapped around her, held her close even as the moments counted down to dawn. She struggled against him, claws digging into his flesh in an attempt to push him away and hide.

He would always be stronger, and she would always be more, worth holding, worth struggling for. Unwilling to release her, he watched as her hair grew dark, as nails and fangs blunted.

“Let me go,” She snarled, her anger a poor cover for panicked desperation.

“Why?”

“I'm human.”

He held her more tightly.

“You are.”

“You hate humans.”

“I don't hate  _you_.”

“Why?”

“I don't know.”

_______________________

**Word Count: 100**


	61. You're Human After All

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Sixty One: You're human after all**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 1 of 5**

 _________________________

It was not desperation, It wasn't even need. It was assurance, it was learning, seeking, knowing. Loneliness was nothing in the face of uncertainty, and more than anything, he needed to erase her fear, soak up her human warmth and beg for what all others had been granted so freely.

Moans, whispers, half murmured words lost between their lips. A body capable of breaking within his hands arched, tensed, melted. Promises burned his tongue and escaped in sighs over her neck. Her sweat slicked embrace was heaven.

Something shifted.

His heart twisted painfully.

He was not too proud to beg.

 __________________________

**Word Count: 100**

There's been some questioning about Kagome's change. Kagome is a hanyou, however her demon blood only takes over at night, turning her into a full youkai. The idea was taken from the anime character Izumo, who became Gyu-O at night. Because we all love to play on Sesshoumaru's moon, I chose the same for Kagome.


	62. Captivates And Embraces

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Sixty Two: Captivates And Embraces**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 2 of 5**

 _______________________

Her strength was hidden, something that could easily be overlooked, even by youkai. It made it all the more precious to him, all the more profound that he saw it beneath the soft velvet of her skin, reflected in the shadows of her eyes. It was like looking into the ocean, seeing the surface and only insubstantial glimmers and suggestions of what lay in the depths. Subtle strength, but solid. Reassuring. He soaked in it knowing she would never know, never see.

He held many secrets, but this one was perhaps the one he held the closest to his heart.

________________________

**Word Count: 100**


	63. Lay Claim To Me

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Sixty Three: Lay Claim To Me**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 3 of 5**

_________________________

She slept quietly, easily. He wondered at her peace, the gentle curve of her smile. Time slowed as the sun poured in the room, lit on her skin. Unearthly in her humanity, she was perfection in the scattered sunbeams, glowing softly. Claws danced over skin, ghosted over flesh, memorized the curve of a rib, the dip of her collarbone, the swell of her breast.

Duty called.

He closed his eyes, shut out the world. His ear pressed against her chest and listened to her heartbeat, perfect, unfaltering, and let it's steady thrumming drown out the plea for duty, for honor.

_______________________

**Word Count: 100**


	64. For Heaven Or Hell Shall Not Wait

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Sixty Four: For Heaven Or Hell Shall Not Wait**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 4 of 5**

__________________________

“I'm not stupid.”

Once he would have heartily disagreed with that statement. It had been childish stupidity that had nearly killed him, it had been foolish pride that had brought him to his current state of ruin.

But his own behavior had changed too much, he had changed too much, been too obvious. Despite never being overly perceptive, Inu Yasha would know the truth sooner or later.

“You don't deserve her.”

No, he didn't.

“She's doing it because she misses me.”

There was a very real possibility of that.

“You're a bastard.”

An undeniable truth he didn't try to fight.

_____________________

**Word Count: 100**


	65. Some Need Truth, Some Need Lies

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Sixty Five: Some Need Truth, Some Need Lies**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: update 5 of 5**

____________________________

Hesitation was lost to impatient, eager arrival. His nights truly began when she welcomed him into her home, into her embrace. It was as if he left work behind, a reality he pushed to the back of his mind, almost forgotten. It was perhaps the happiest illusion he had ever seen, the most finely crafted, and he had crafted it, helped create it with his silence.

It was also the only illusion he had ever allowed himself to fall into, to move within.

It was the only illusion he allowed himself, if just for a few short hours, to believe.

__________________________

**Word Count: 100**


	66. Only Sentiment Remains

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Sixty Six: Only Sentiment Remains**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 1 of 5**

 ___________________________

Her breath sighed over his skin, brushed over his chest. Her clawed hand rested over his heart, palm flat and pressed down lightly, soft and steady.

“I can feel it so strongly now.”

How strange that her hand always seemed to gravitate there.

“When did it break?”

It was a question with a thousand answers, each as valid as the last.

The night his brother had been born.

The day his ward had died.

The moment he had donned the first human guise.

The morning the bomb had dropped.

The night he had changed her.

This very second.

_________________________

**Word Count: 100**


	67. I Will This Moment Last Forever

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Sixty Seven: I Will This Moment Last Forever**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 2 of 5**

_________________________________

The transformation was always enthralling. The moments when the sun and moon were balanced perfectly and she was caught between youkai and human. A perfect mesh of the two, blending worlds so evenly that he wished, for a strange moment, that she could stay that way. Light and dark, strong and soft.

But blue, blue was the ever remaining constant. Her eyes wide and curious as she watched him. Blue and free of the fear that had ruled them before. Simply open, baring everything within. Despite everything he had done wrong, she trusted him with this moment.

“You are beautiful.”

_____________________

**Word Count: 100**


	68. Cells Connect

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Sixty Eight: Cells Connect**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 3 of 5**

____________________________

In the day the water was clear, crystalline blue. Something had changed, and the sun marked the difference. Her laughter echoed over the waves, and she tugged at his hand, determined to pull him in with her.

“Sesshoumaru, come on,” She urged.

He doubted she knew how he saw her, something shifting and changing in that moment. He did not understand, could not fathom what it was. But perception bended, winding around her. She was no longer human, or youkai, or hanyou. She was not an escape. She was something freeing, yet infinitely more frighting.

She tugged again.

He followed.

_______________________

**Word Count: 100**


	69. I Want More Body I Want More Soul

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Sixty Nine: I Want More Body I Want More Soul**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 4 of 5**

 ______________________________

“Why do you stick around her, anyway?”

Because he was finding it harder and harder to leave her, not that he could tell the hanyou that. Human or hanyou, she was more than he had ever dreamed of touching. In the night they were free to be feral, to be the wild things they were by blood and magic, and in the day they were something else. More or less, he couldn't tell, couldn't figure out which part of the day he enjoyed more. Couldn't figure out which one he needed more.

“You're falling in love with her.”

_____________________________

**Word Count: 100**


	70. Expanses Far And Wide That Still Confine

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Seventy: Expanses Far And Wide That Still Confine**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

**Author's Note: Update 5 of 5**

_____________________________________

Words spilled out, became conversations, became introspective examinations of life. Secrets were shared, pulled into the light. Burdens eased and weights lifted. Moments that burned and then smoothed into smoke before slipping into the ether as if they had never been. But the memories remained. He opened himself to her, allowing her to see the toll the centuries had taken on his mind, even on his heart.

Her touch healed, her lips mended, her sighs lifted.

Perhaps it was weakness, to give up so much of himself, to expose himself. But he gave in, gave everything.

Except for that one...dark...secret.

______________________

**Word Count: 100**


	71. The Lies I Tell With My Own Eyes

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Seventy One: The Lies I Tell With My Own Eyes**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 1 of 5**

 ___________________________

“You're not here,” She sighed, leaning against him as they stared at the city below.

She was correct. He was not there, not even in the now. He was lost in the past, in his own shadow. Her grip on his chin was firm as she forced him to look at her. But blue eyes were soft. There was a sympathy there he had never seen before, as if she understood, wanted to help. For a brief moment he considered telling her the truth, but fear prevailed.

She would hate him someday anyway. Just not yet.

Please, _please_ not yet.

_______________________

**Word Count:100**

 


	72. I Want You To Stay

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Seventy Two: I Want You To Stay**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 2 of 5**

 _________________________

He wondered when he had first begun to feel alone, realized he could not remember a time when he hadn't. Powerful, ambitious, focused. He had always been a world apart from others, even his own kin. In centuries that passed, it had only worsened. He had only become more aware as his talents had become, one by one, useless. He had become useless.

Her fingers wove into his.

If he stood apart from the world, she stood with him. To someone else, he was still useful, still strong and powerful and cunning. Still Sesshoumaru.

“Only for now,” He reminded himself.

______________________

**Word Count:100**


	73. My Thoughts Betray

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Seventy Three: My Thoughts Betray**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 3 of 5**

 _________________________

Figure eight patterns wove themselves through eternity. Mobius strips that connected and never ended. In science, in religion, in emotion. Unstable yet damnably prevalent. Cycles that repeated again and again.

Haunted by his brother's words, he tried to stay away, to resist the need for confirmation, for validation. Lies were easier by far, needy desperation had been simpler. A simple figure eight pattern disguised in a knotted, gnarled mess of shadows and secrets, hard to swallow, settled in him like broken glass and bled him from the inside out.

He did not want to know.

The whispers singed his consciousness.

_________________

**Word Count:100**


	74. And Whose Blood Do I Bleed

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Seventy Four: And Whose Blood Do I Bleed**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 4 of 5**

 __________________________

“Do you miss him?”

Silence.

“Yes, and no.”

“Explain.”

“What was is just that. Now...”

Bitterness rose in his throat, tightened his lips.

It was not love, it was domination. It was the angry, jealous need to wipe him from her mind forever. He held her tightly to block out the world, sought to drive out any memory of her past. It was possession, claiming, feral and vindictive. But not love. Because what had been could be again, and now...

Now he was just a replacement, an optical illusion of a past and a mirage of the not quite dead.

________________

**Word Count:100**


	75. When I Have Nothing Left To Say

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Seventy Five: When I have Nothing Left To Say**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 5 of 5**

______________________________

“Something's changed.”

It had.

“Sesshoumaru, tell me your secrets.”

He wanted to snarl, wanted to attack, to hurt her as much as her love for the past hurt him.

But masks were his specialty. She would never see the cracks forming, because she would never see the real him again.

His secrets? He wouldn't tell her. No. It was too late for that, had been too late to speak since the truth since the first lie had spilled forth from his lips.

“Come with me.”

He was precise eloquence, he would not hurt her.

Reality would do it for him.

________________

**Word Count:100**


	76. I'll Let This Just Slip Away

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Seventy Six: I'll Let This Just Slip Away**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 1 of 2**

______________________

“Someone is waiting for you inside.”

He would not go in, perhaps never would again. If she cared so much for the past, let her nurse it back to health, let her take care of the living ruin and give it life and purpose.

She walked in, human body trembling with anxiety.

He knew when Inu Yasha caught her scent, because the cursing started.

He knew when she spotted him, knew when reality came crashing down on her.

The wind sang around him. Distance would give him peace, silence would give him a reprieve from the dissonance of need.

________________

**Word Count: 100**


	77. Each Day Shall End As It Begins

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Seventy Seven: Each Day Shall End As It Begins**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 2 of 2**

**_______________________**

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

He wondered how much long her would have to remind himself to od even the most basic things. He woke each morning, steadfastly ignoring the sunrise as he got ready for another day of plodding dumbly through the gray scale world.

His veins felt as if they had been filled with broken glass, his heart stilled and morphed into marble. If there had been magic, it was gone now. Any memory of his past life had been erased from thought. Including his brother and the woman he had foolishly allowed himself to care for.

Inhale.

Exhale.

__________________

**Word Count: 100**


	78. Scars Wounds And Bruises

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Seventy Eight: Scars Wounds And Bruises**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

 ___________________________

He tried to find anger, but found only acceptance, tried to find hatred, but could only find empathy.

Time mellowed the rage and turned it to sorrow.

His heart had broken a hundred times, a thousand. For every face he had created, he had moved further from it, hidden it deeper within himself.

She had forced him to see it again. She had forced him to acknowledge the pain and had, for a time, lessened it.

Though old hurts had healed, scar tissue provided proof to every shaming moment of weakness.

The new ones bled, freely acknowledging the bitter truth.

__________

**Word Count: 100**

A note: Hang on a bit longer guys. We're in the home stretch. Your reviews have been amazing!

 


	79. Only Shadows Comfort Me

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Seventy Nine: Only Shadows Comfort Me**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 1 of 2**

 _______________________

Dreams, intangible things that they were, were still vivid enough to cut. Ephemeral warmth and flashes of color. A half whispered sigh on his cheek and the ever constant reach for more. Swift as smoke everything changed the moment he touched her, and he was left falling into the ever reaching darkness, the shadowy beast of his former self that grew and howled it's mocking laughter.

He had been a fool to believe that he could hold on to a woman that was more firmly entrenched in the past than he had ever been, something the dreams only drove home.

_________________

**Word Count: 100**


	80. If You Should Fall

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Eighty: If You Should Fall**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 2 of 2**

_______________________

Falling was easy. It was the choice people feared, the step forward into the abyss that paralyzed their souls and bodies. A choice of falling.

He had not had a choice. It had made things simpler.

But this was a choice.

The wind was not gentle, as her hands had been. It whistled and howled angrily in his ears as he plummeted to the earth. It was not her laughter, it was not her sigh of pleasure.

The unforgiving ground was not her warm embrace.

He stood, walked away from the broken earth.

Both falls could be survived.

He hoped.

______________________

**Word Count: 100**


	81. To Look Beyond This Place

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Eighty One: To Look Beyond This Place**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 1 of 5**

_________________________

Freedom had become a prison, locking him outside of himself and leaving him alone in a world that whispered her name at the slightest provocation. His heartbeat pulsed through him, reminding him of the moments it had shattered in her hands.

He had been shown the way to a world of lights and sensation, a world where color had bled into the monotone grays. Her kiss had breathed air into his lungs, her touch awakened senses long dormant, her words rekindled his ability to think.

She had shown him the path.

And now he was forced to walk it alone. 

_________________

**Word Count: 100**


	82. Your Body Bleeding

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Eighty Two: Your Body Bleeding**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 2 of 5**

 ___________________

“You know, if you were trying to escape, you should have left Japan,” She sighed, sitting across from him. He tried not to look at her, especially when he felt the fluttering below her heart.

“Why should I try to escape?” He tried for nonchalance.

“I don't know. It's been two months. Thanks for that, by the way. You're a jerk.”

Nothing new there.

“And you're pregnant.” He didn't sugarcoat it.

“I am.”

“Is that why you sought me out?”

“No.”

Damn.

“Then why?”

She sighed, obviously hearing the unspoken question hanging in the air.

“Inu Yasha wants to die.”

_________________

**Word Count: 100**


	83. Your Body Scarred

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Eighty Three: Your Body Scarred**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 3 of 5**

__________________________

“She loves you. Not me.”

Selfish, mellow dramatic child. Some things would never change. He hoped his gaze conveyed the depths of his disapproval and hatred.

“She's even having your pup.”

Shallow, sad, selfish thing. Mangled and broken and pathetic. Fractured. He hated him then, more than he ever had before.

“You could have healed yourself if you had the will. The strength has always been yours.”

“Wonderful time to tell me.”

“She doesn't love me.”

The short bark of laughter turned into maddened, twisted cackling. Bitter, desperate laughs that turned into heaving gasps for air.

“You're such a dumbass.”

__________________

**Word Count: 100**


	84. Around The Cinder Of Your Heart

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Eighty Four: Around The Cinder Of Your Heart**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 4 of 5**

__________________________

He stared at the sword. She had left it behind when she moved. Moved into his home from her own apartment. He was more than aware she had canceled her lease, more than aware she slept in his room, in his bed. A bed he had not seen since leaving her in that house. No longer his house and never their home.

He continued glaring at the damnable thing that had started it all.

The sword sat innocently, quietly, as if it had never lived, had never urged him to act. For a moment he considered destroying it, obliterating it and wiping it's existence from memory.

But it would change nothing.

She would still be alive. The two hanyou would still be living in that house. Perhaps happily.

He left it sitting on the table and undressed, letting clothing drop carelessly to the floor before falling into the bed that still held lingering traces of her scent. The bed he had bought for  _her_ , but had become  _theirs_. She was fading from them, the scents almost indistinguishable from one another. Soon it would be a memory.

But not yet.

He buried his face in the pile of blankets.

Not yet.

___________________

**Word Count: 200**


	85. If You And I Had Been Anything Less

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Eighty Five: If You And I Had Been Anything Less**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 5 of 5**

_____________________

Letting go had never been easy, not for him. Too tenacious, too proud. But she had humbled him with seemingly effortless ease. In centuries of living he had wished for the happiness of only one other, and it had not been granted. Fate had intervened, taking it away from her because he had sent her away from him. He had been afraid then.

It was a bitter twist of fate that would allow him to grant the happiness of one he cared for by giving her up. He was no longer afraid.

The quiet irony was not lost on him.

_________________

**Word Count: 100**


	86. I Tell Myself, I Keep Repeating

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Eighty Six: I tell Myself, I Keep Repeating**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Update 1 of 2**

 _____________________________

It would require focus. The same focus he had given months before. The kind of focus that only he could conjure.

He stared at the sword.

She would be happy, his role as alpha fulfilled. He could give back a measure of what he stole.

They would be happy together.

He grabbed the sword, walked inside, grateful that she was gone. He walked to the room where his brother lay, still a ruin, still a living mass of weak flesh caught between decay and regeneration.

“What do you want?”

“I have come to fix things.”

“How?”

“This will hurt.”

Gold eyes widened as blood scented the air. A muffled curse would have erupted had it not been for the hand forcing the blood into his mouth.

The sword pierced his chest.

_'Let this work.'_

It was a prayer.

_'Let her be happy.'_

It was a mantra.

__________________

**Word Count:100**


	87. That Your Ways Are Bringing You To Me

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Eighty Seven: That Your Ways Are Bringing You To Me**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Update 2 of 2**

 __________________________

The power fought him, the world bore down on him. Every cell of his being fought against it.

'I will give her everything.'

He had once thought he had nothing left within. Only emptiness, only hollow darkness.

Her light had reminded him that there was more.

Honor. Duty.

A heart.

_'I give up everything.'_

He fought against the heavy hand of fate that threatened to shatter him.

_'She deserves the world.'_

The body beneath him thrashed wildly. He pressed his palm, torn and bleeding, closer to his brother's lips.

“Make her happy,” He snarled above the roar of power.

__________________

**Word Count: 100**


	88. Serve The Cause Of Greater Things

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Eighty Eight: Serve The Cause Of Greater Things**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 1 of 2**

_______________________

 

The power faded and he staggered back, pulling the sword free of his brother's chest. There was no wound, only the clean cut in the blanket it had pierced.

“What the hell did you think you were doing?” Inu Yasha snapped, moving forward.

And then realization dawned.

“You- you healed me.”

“You were too stubborn to heal yourself,” He rasped, feeling the darkness rise to meet him. Determined to get away before debasing himself, he dropped the sword, not wanting it anywhere near him, and stumbled from the room.

“Sesshoumaru?”

_'Not her.'_

Darkness dragged him under.

___________________________

**Word Count: 100**


	89. Unwilling To Open Your Eyes

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Eighty Nine: Unwilling To Open Your Eyes**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Author's Note: Update 2 of 2**

 ________________________

Blue, blue and forgiving as a summer sky, blue as the ocean in morning. It surrounded him, drew him in until he was drowning in it. A hundred shades of blue that he couldn't name, but could tell apart, could pick out from memory.

The blue of her eyes.

“Wake up.”

He did not want to wake, he wanted to dream. He wanted to cling to the lithe strands of blue entangling him and soak in her scent. He didn't want to let go, not yet.

“Just a little longer.”

“All you have is time.”

Not anymore.

__________________

**Word Count: 100**


	90. So Far Removed I Fail To See

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Ninety: So Far Removed I Fail To See**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Update 1 of 11 (yes, you read that correctly)**

_______________

Light. Pain.

“You're finally awake.”

He felt as if he'd been run over by a train and then pinned beneath a fallen atom bomb.

“You look like shit.”

“You don't.”

“Whatever you did,” He started, then stopped before shaking his head. Though he was healed, his hair had not yet regrown, his muscle under developed. He looked like a cancer patient. “Thanks.”

“There is a price.” He could not help but remind his brother of the cost.

There was a long silence, an uncomfortable pause.

“I can't.”

“Why not?”

“You can.”

_________________

**Word Count: 100**


	91. The Wisdom Of Defeat

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Ninety One: The Wisdom Of Defeat**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha

**Update 2 of 11**

_____________________

Tenseiga lay broken and silent, it's blade shattered. Lingering fragments of a past life carefully arranged and on display, bearing her scent.

When had it broken? How?

But a moment's startling revelation bore down on him, dismissing inquiry and concern.

It didn't matter.

It had helped to create her, to mend her heart and give back all that she wanted, all that she deserved.

The blade was now dead and empty, little more than pieces of shattered bone. It was the last connection to her he could have possessed.

Perhaps it was for the best, gifting him a bitter freedom.

______________________

**Word Count: 100**


	92. A Precious Cup

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Ninety Two: A Precious Cup**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Update 3 of 11**

_________________________

He could hear the two heartbeats, the steady thrum of hers and the fluttering uncertainty of his child's.

“Sesshoumaru, please wait.”

He didn't want to wait, to stay. He needed to leave. Now.

She had never been his, and now they never would be.

“Sesshoumaru, I don't love him.”

He turned away, determined to ignore it, to not want it. It could not be truth, could not be real. He would always be a figment of the past, and she would find out the truth, sooner or later. In time she would remember how to hate him.

“I love you.”

__________________

**Word Count: 100**


	93. Lay Me Down

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Ninety Three: Lay Me Down**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Update 4 of 11**

__________________

“I am not the being I once was,” He declared quietly.

Her hand, her human hand, gently touched his shoulder, resting for a moment before sliding down his arm. Each moment was an eternity of suffering. He would not have her pity, did not need her comfort.

“I didn't fall in love with him. I fell in love with you.”

It would be so easy to give in. He had broken again and again beneath time's ceaseless march.

But...

Maybe she could be the difference.

Clinging to hope, he submitted, shattered.

Her caress swept the shards of him back together.

__________________

**Word Count: 100**


	94. And Wash This World From Me

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Ninety Four: And Wash This World From Me**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Update 5 of 11**

______________________

It was need and learning, confirmation and exploration. Yearning gave way to satiation.

It was love.

The world was tinged in blues and whites, going soft as she wordlessly asked to free him. Distinction became blurred outlines, boundaries bled into one another until there was only oneness, only completion. Centuries of loneliness and darkness were banished by her light as she accepted everything he was and filled the void with all that she possessed.

It was exchange.

There was no fear or domination, escape or submission.

Love overwhelmed anguish and banished desolation, giving solace and granting attainment.

It was peace.

_______________________

**Word Count: 100**


	95. Dim With Time

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Ninety Five: Dim With Time**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Update 6 of 11**

______________________

Mundane things became the most treasured moments. They searched for a home, and her excited chatter was met with pleased, indulgent nods. His former home had been a tomb, and the walls still stank of despair and loneliness, suffering and rage. Not even the whispers of their joining or the resonance of her laughter could dispel decades of memories.

She listed off features and futures. Nurseries and dogs, gardens and birthday parties.

Mundane. Simple.

Beautiful. Wonderful.

Her excitement was his pleasure. There were no shadows, no doubts. Only her steady, unwavering faith in their future. Her conviction was his hope.

______________________

**Word Count: 100**


	96. Without Regret

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Ninety Six: Without Regret**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Update 7 of 11**

___________________

Clawed fingers ghosted over a belly swollen, skin tight and firm.

“You're so enamored of my stomach.”

“Our child.”

It was enough, the two words that easily said everything. Not yours. Not mine. Ours.

A child that would be born into a world where few of his kind existed. More than a hanyou, less than a daiyoukai. A child between worlds. He had never known a child with a quarter of humanity. He wondered if, like his mother, he would change with the sun and moon.

“Our child.”

It did not matter.

“Ours.”

He had hope.

____________________

**Word Count: 100**


	97. I Witness Open Eyed

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Ninety Seven: I Witness Open Eyed**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Update 8 of 11**

_________________________

When he looked down into the face of his child, blind in it's first hours, he understood the pride his father must have once felt, the hope.

When he looked into his mate's eyes, he saw her exhausted pleasure, her trembling body and steadfast love. Her tears, a rarity, fell freely, coursing down past smiling lips.

He walked over to her, gave her the pup that bore the marks they both now possessed.

Masks and spells were not mentioned, not thought of.

Only her smile, only their quiet joy.

Her family took pictures.

They did not notice, their world complete.

_________________________

**Word Count: 100**

 


	98. Illuminate Me, Make Me Complete

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Ninety Eight: Illuminate Me, Make Me Complete**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Update 9 of 11**

_________________________

_Let me know you, let me love you always and forever. Let me kiss each fingertip until every star bleeds into nonexistence. Grant me permission to lose myself to the fire and become smoke, that you may breathe me in and I can course through you. Let me fade from the darkness into your light and be lost forever in your radiance._

_I am little more than a passing shadow without you, a spirit given form._

_Let me live eternally in every exhalation of your name._

_Let me find myself in the light of your smile._

He spoke with touch.

_________________________

**Word Count: 100**


	99. Tome Moved On And Then

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**Ninety Nine: Time Moved On And Then**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Update 10 of 11**

_________________________

Patterns, cycles, paths that took them back to the beginning. Centuries of memories were easily recalled, the sting of their beauty cutting at his flesh until there was only truth, only the past.

And his half brother.

“Why did you leave her?”

“Because I love her.”

He understood then what price his brother had paid.

“Why?”

“Because you love her.”

In another life, it would not have been enough. But a hundred masks for a hundred different lies had shattered, leaving only the truth, only the present.

“Thank you.”

“Make her happy.”

And there was only the future.

_________________________

**Word Count: 100**


	100. New World Begins Again

**Nova**

**By: The Hatter Theory**

**One Hundred: New World Begins Again**

**Disclaimer:**  I don't own the rights to Inu Yasha or to anything by VNV Nation

**Update 11 of 11**

_________________________

He dreamed, though he was not asleep. He had found paradise, yet lived.

In centuries that changed the world, through wars that ripped it apart and inventions that solved problems only to create newer, bigger ones, he bathed in her light. In each moment he lived he was complete. Their fire burned brightly, steadily.

Blue became steadfast in his life, shades of comfort, hues of peace. It laced through his happiest memories, making them brighter, more vivid.

The world moved on.

As they aged, he did not notice.

When they breathed their last, he did not care.

Always together.

Forever.

_________________________

**Word Count: 100**

_Oh my heart_

_In this universe so vast._

_No moment was made to last_

_So light the fire in me._

_-Nova_

_VNV Nation_


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